Saturday 6 October 2012

Turkey day dress(ing) rehearsal



It’s Thanksgiving in Canada!  The time of year where we say thank you for everything we have by wasting money and food.  The post-Thanksgiving food-related financial depression is only beaten by the post-Christmas one.  So here’s an idea: treat Thanksgiving as a rehearsal for Christmas.

This isn't really a tip, it's more of a suggestion because I haven't actually done this myself.  But I think it just might work and might save you a load of money.
 
Traditional Thanksgiving and traditional Christmas meals in Canada are very similar: giant turkeys, sweet potatoes, roast potatoes, roast veg, cranberry jelly, stuffing, gravy, Brussels sprouts, pumpkin pie, the list of “requirements” just goes on and on.  I put “requirements” in parentheses, because it’s important to question whether they are indeed requirements.  Is it important to have a giant turkey for just five people?  Is it important to have a whole bowl full Brussels sprouts on the table if only one person eats them?

With Thanksgiving so soon, it’s probably too late to change the preparations now.  But you have a great chance to learn from any mistakes made this time around and apply the learning to Christmas.  I’ve made an equation for you.  I call it the Turkey equation.  
 
L = (T - Te) / n , where  Te = T - Tl

L = leftovers (in kg or whichever unit is most appropriate)
T = Turkey (in kg - can be replaced by any other food item, in whichever unit is most appropriate)
Te = Turkey eaten (can equally be replaced by any other food item)
Tl = Turkey left (can still be replaced by any other food item)
n = number of people eating.

The idea is to bring L as close to 0 as possible.  Unless you’re absolutely madly in love with Turkey leftovers sandwiches, and can eat them for the rest of your life, in which case your goal is probably to maximise L for those items but minimize it for others. 

Example 1.  Say you have 24 Brussels sprouts (T = 24), and only your great aunt Agnes likes to eat them (n = 1).  But great aunt Agnes is 94 and has the stomach the size of a quarter, so can only manage 2 of them (Te = 2).  You’re left with L = 22.  Problem!  We want to minimize this!   
Solution: make fewer Brussels sprouts.  Perhaps present them on an individual plate for great aunt Agnes, all pretty and garnished, so she feels special and included.  Maybe include an extra one for each child under 18, so you can threaten to make them eat them. 


Example 2.  You have a 60 lb turkey.  You have 50 guests over, which you would think would mean the 60 lb bird would be perfect for.  But 25 of them have become vegetarian over the past year, and suddenly your n is cut in half, leaving you with masses and masses of leftover turkey. 
Solution: Rethink your Christmas needs.  You’ll need to get a smaller turkey and provide a vegetarian alternative.  It’s too late for Thanksgiving – but don’t throw away that turkey!  Make turkey pasta sauces, turkey casserole, turkey soup, turkey stir fry, and freeze them for consumption over the next month.  But save some for sandwiches.

Example 3. You are super-thrifty and only bought one can of cranberry jelly because traditionally your family doesn’t use much of it.  But this year your two kids taste cranberry jelly and suddenly decide they like it and could pretty much eat it with a spoon.  That leaves you with L = -1; in other words, you’re missing a can.
Solution: Canned cranberry jelly doesn’t go off, so make sure you have an extra one available.  Only open one at first, but keep the others close by, just in case jelly lovers come over for dinner.  If they don’t, you can save them for next year.  It’s a better solution than opening two and dumping one and a half at the end.

So, by calculating your equations carefully, you can reduce your leftover nightmares and your financial loss and still have a great turkey dinner with all the real requirements. 

Alternatively, do what my family is doing: have a meal that everyone loves, and to hell with tradition.  In our case, it’s ham, scalloped potatoes, and apple pie for dessert.  Yum!!!

Happy Turkey (ham?) day!

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